Maximum Matyas

Since the beginning of mine and my wife's relationship, I have been doing my best to be creative with my gift giving and surprises. For the last four years it has been a rule not to get each other gifts on Christmas because we usually get whatever we want throughout the year. This season is designated for gift giving for our family and friends. I have never once complied with this rule, she has always.

I try to keep things interesting. Example:

When Reah and I began dating I stole her from some douche, and it just happened to be closing in on Valentine's Day. I had a HUGE bouquet of flowers delivered with a card that read "Just wait until Sam gets home and sees that you got flowers from someone else...", and to make it even more believable I stopped by a grocerie store on the way home from work and picked out a moderately wilted single white rose to give to her. I apologized for not being able to get her more, but I had been at work all day and was short on cash. It was fun to watch her squirm.

Reah is fascinated with Ireland. She loves anything to do with the Irish so I bought her some land there. We have yet to visit it.

Back to Christmas...

This year I was struggling because Reah has taken over our finances and therefor I have no way to sneak any purchases past her without her knowing immediately. I was talking with The Korean Dragon one day and she mentioned she was using Bill Me Later to sneak purchases, so I signed up for an account and made a purchase for a Notebook computer. Reah has wanted her own notebook pc since she was young, and we had almost purchased one for her previously but things came up... so every time that we stopped at stores i would make special effort to walk over to the laptops and play with them a bit while asking her if she liked this one etc. and telling her to figure out our finances so after Christmas is over we can get her one really quick. I brought this up for an entire month, at least twice a week, to keep the flames of laptop desire alive.

When the laptop came in the mail, I sent it home with my mother so she could get it wrapped for me, and to prevent any accedental discoveries of this gift. She promptly placed it under a community tree in the Carriage House as to lay in wait undetected while the time passed.

On Christmas Eve we were loading up the HUMMER to take gifts to my parents house to celebrate, as is our tradition, but I had to take care of the dog right before we drove over there so i was able to go back in and make sure the gifts were placed perfectly for our return home. Our celebration was tremendous {on a side note to all of you coffee lovers out there, the Keurig single k-cup coffee brewing system has got to be the best way that coffee can be brewed at home (thanks Terra & Tony)}, and in the midst of the gift giving, I was presented a suprise gift from my wife... A Freakin Kinect! I totally played it off like she got me. She was sooo pleased that she finally got me, and I didn't get her a gift. The joy on her face was only enhanced by her telling me over and over that "this is MY Christmas, I finally got you!". I called her a few names and acted like I was dissapointed that I didn't get her anything, I feel bad, and she tricked me, etc. etc. You should have seen her. EPIC!

So we drive home and she is still beaming and rubbing it in. We get home and head towards our favorite spot to discard of things that we are carrying, and she see's them. Three gifts sitting on the coffee table, waiting to be opened.

Reah "What are those?"
Me "This is who's Christmas?!?"
Reah (speechless)
Me (dancing around) "who got who?!?"

I proceeded to sit her down and hand her the gifts. She opened the first to find a sweet ass Samsung laptop. I had won again!

I love Christmas. I love finding the perfect gift for people, and I never shy away from silly prices when I find that perfect gift.

I already have her Birthday present picked out!

It has been a tough year so far... I made it, bot not everyone is as lucky as I am.

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.

Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

That's it... Obama is tanking so start bashing Reagan, do we see a patten here? I know that the man wasn't a saint, but at least everyone in my family was empolyed and doing well. Not to mention I wasnt paying for a bunch of social programs for people who are not even supposed to be in this country. Then there is the fact that when Reagan was in office you were PROUD to be an American we didn't appoligize to every county under the sun for being who we are and what we believed in. Hell I want Reagan back he would be a better president dead than what we have now! I find it hilarious that a few short days ago, Obama was preaching how his stimulus created or kept millions of jobs, but today he won't dare call this next stimulus package what it is because his previous stimulus did nothing for middle America, and Americans are furious. Keep it up Dem's, keep saying that republicans are for millionares and not middle class while you continue to pump billions into big business. Everyone of these douchebags in office make me proud to be middle of the road.

Vote Matyas in 2012. Platform... Everyone in office currently is an idiot and needs to be replaced, so why not with me? They set the bar very very low.

You may be wondering why it has been so long since my last blog post... but then again, with only 3 followers it greatly reduces the chances that someone was wondering that.

The Answer: I'm less angry

I recently left a high stress, little reward job where I was promised the moon (the moon that was never delivered). But those were empty promises. That job made me bitter in a way that I cannot explain, which in turn created an environment that pushed my blood pressure to a point where I was prescribed pills to manage it. I read an article once about manipulative people that broke character traits down to a list of 40 or so traits. Was very interesting and yet could have been applied to that company. The interesting thing, and the part that really created the friction was that micromanaging employees was more important than overall morale of the people working there. If you weren't furiously typing away or talking on the phone, you obviously weren't working and had time for more duties. Even if you were contemplating possible outcomes to algorithms produced for proper functioning of new programs and territories, this was the case. I can't begin to tell you how many times I overheard the comments "What is Bob working on?", "Why isn't Jenny sitting up in her chair, does she have nothing to do?", or my personal favorite and one I was asked numerous times about other employees "Do you think George works most of the day?". The interesting thing is that when the boss was out of the office, I know I could produce twice as much as when she was in the office creating this negative working environment as well as wasting all of our times with the aforementioned questions about others.

There is plenty more, but I don't want to bore you with particulars. I left of my own accord and because of some things that didn't fall in line with my personal morals.

Now I am phasing into the family business of elder care, and let me tell you what... my stress level is next to nothing. And I work with people who actually know what they are doing. Talk about a night and day change... and if they ever tell me I can work my way or purchase a part of the company, they aren't blowing smoke up my ass!

It is so much easier writing about things when you are angry, so this one will be cut short.

Interesting tidbit and a throwback to the "ode to my HUMMER" post.

I was cut off by a Prius the other day. The poor guys face was priceless when he realized he almost became crow-bait underneath the crushing force of my HUMMER's shoes. The extremely apologetic look I was flashed right before he gunned it and began to slowly inch away, made my day a little brighter. I guess he secretly read my blog and knew what I was about to do!

'Till next time, my failthful 3 followers.

Let me begin by saying my views are moderate in nature. I don't subscribe to any political machine, nor do I subscribe to mainstream religious views.

Growing up I remember hearing story after story about the "American Dream". The dream that anyone can make it, anyone can better their situation and if you work hard enough, better the situation of your family for generations to come. The problem now is, that those who don't work hard are rewarded, and those who do work hard are penalized.

Why should I owe taxes after a year of paying taxes with no deductions, when others receive tremendous returns? Why is there a never ending supply of public assistance that allows people to leach off the system without there being any end? Why should I be required to pay for those who refuse to get off their ass and get a job? Why should I feel sorry for someone who got fired for not working while on the job?

The way i see it, after all deductions I am docked approximately 13% of my hard earned dollars to Fed, FICA, etc. Why doesn't the government just impose a flat tax rate of 10%? Make $26k? Pay $2600. Make $260k? Pay $26k. No deductions, no credits, no end of year rewards because you purchased a Prius and have 1200 kids. Oh, and i think this should also apply to those who live below the poverty level. Flat 10% and fuck your refunds. Would we then need to have the legislature spend months creating laws that will only temporarily fix the decades outdated tax codes? I doubt it. If the government wanted to raise taxes that that point it would affect everyone no matter what. Same with lowering taxes.

I also think that there shoudl be a 6 month cap on government assistance for those who have found themselves without a job, or that just refuse to go looking for a job. If you have absolutely no income, why wouldn't you put in an application at McDonalds? Sure it's only minimum wage, but minimum wage is better than no wage. This can also filter back into the fiscally responsible budget. If you cannot afford it, don't buy it. Minimum wage could go a long way if you didn't go to Starbucks for coffee or Sonic for drinks every day.

Whatever happened to a fiscally responsible budget? This applies to the government as well as personal finances and business finances. Why do we constantly spend money we don't have? Why do we have to be responsible if our government isn't setting the example? Obama is setting an epic example of exactly what we shouldn't be doing. I won't only place fault on him. All current politicians suck and should be replaced.

What ever happened to the option to join the military, or go to jail for those who have committed crimes? Joining the military may be the help and direction that would be career criminals need to become a better citizen. Would we have overcrowded prisons if this were still an option? What about a work release program that would place prisoners in the care of the military and ship them overseas to the warzones?

Not only are our current and former politicians killing the "American Dream"... We are too by acting like idiots. OMG! I make $50k a year!!! Lets go out and purchase a $350k home! It should really be ok to randomly smack idiots.

I have plenty more rants. People piss me off.